


i know in your head you see me instead

by forboo



Series: seventeen ship shots [11]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: AND GAY, Cheolsoo, Don't Read This, Drabble, M/M, OH VERKWAN, Past Relationship(s), Uh so, and short, coupshan, i've been having a writers block recently and wrote this to get back into it, ill tag it anyways, in the background - Freeform, it's sad, its bad, jeongcheol - Freeform, jeonghan pov, jun has one, lol, not angst just post breakup, past jeongcheol, seungkwan has like 2 lines, sum flashbacks i guess, the others are there as minor characters, verkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 08:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17179529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forboo/pseuds/forboo
Summary: in which seungcheol has moved on and jeonghan still needs to.





	i know in your head you see me instead

**Author's Note:**

> drabble i guess. i’ve been really bad at writing recently. i just can’t commit to a story and finish it. so im sorry that i have to give you guys this short (and kinda trashy) predictable story. i got some inspiration from conan grays song “lookalike” but its not entirely song based. anyways this isn’t even 2k, i just needed to get the gears going again.  
> i hope you all have a lovely holiday season and im sorry for this sad monstrosity. (also im so sorry jihan enthusiasts, it’s never gonna happen. if you want jihan then i suggest you try somewhere else. i literally have never been able to write jihan)

“when you look in his eyes do you think of mine” “i know in you head you see me instead cus he look a lot like i did back then”  
\---  
people who didn’t know them used to always joke about their ‘twin like’ looks. jeonghan never understood it. he personally thought he was 20 times more handsome than the chemistry major joshua hong but he would be lying if he said that he hadn’t been approached by some freshman calling him “joshua-oppa!”  
to be perfectly honest, jeonghan didn’t know joshua hong that well. they’d crossed paths a couple of times, they even once joked about how people would mess them up but there was nothing more than a, practically less than, acquaintance-ship between them.  
to be even more perfectly honest, jeonghan didn’t know that seungcheol even knew joshua in the first place. seungcheol never said anything to jeonghan about the infamous joshua hong with who he shared a face. supposedly, that is. jeonghan still believes that he’s more handsome  
and so did seungcheol.  
for a while.  
\---  
jeonghan and seungcheol met over a summer holiday, neither of them had gone back to their families that year. they stayed in seoul, despite the scorching heat and busy beaches. jeonghan had gone out one night, with a couple of friends from his high school choir. it was his first year in university, but he didn’t cut ties with those close to him. they all went to this super retro movie theater that seungkwan, who was still in high school at the time and needed an excuse to introduce his new boyfriend vernon to the rest of his friends, had suggested. it was a cute place to say the least, definitely looked like those american style theaters that the characters in 90s movies went to. the movie they had gone to see (some classic sappy romance that jeonghan didn’t really want to see but agreed to nevertheless) was a pretty big seller and the theater was packed. they sat somewhere in the middle, jeonghan can’t exactly remember. vernon and seungkwan sat beside eachother, seokmin and jihoon sat to their side, jihoon sitting right at the end of the line. meaning that the only person having to sit next to some stranger was jeonghan.  
and what a stranger it was.  
choi seungcheol was nothing but beautiful the first time jeonghan met him. he was already in his red foldable seat when jeonghan and his friends arrived. playing some game on his phone, one leg folded and placed onto the other like some rich business man. he wore a simple black t-shirt with the sleeves folded up a bit and a pair of black fitted jeans but jeonghan thought he looked like some otherworldly god. were it anyone else, and jeonghan would have told him to move his leg and make space so that jeonghan could sit comfortably. but something about the strangers nicely sculpted thighs and bored hand resting on the arm rest on jeonghan’s side made him stop all possibly rude remarks. jeonghan had suspected that the boy wasn’t much older than himself (and he was right, but that’s for later) and decided to strike up conversation with the raven-haired boy.  
“sorry, is your girlfriend sitting here?”  
it was a stupid question, yes, after all jeonghan’s ticket very clearly stated that that seat was, indeed, his. but did it do the trick? also yes.  
“oh? no, all yours” seungcheol had shifted his leg so that he was sitting with both his feet on the floor, making more space for jeonghan. it wasn’t a special gesture or something but jeonghan’s heart fluttered, nevertheless.  
“so, you here alone then? i’m just asking because you seem all alone over there. my friends dragged me here” jeonghan continues, some weird positive streak in him acting up.  
“oh yeah i am. this movie is a classic, i come see it as often as i can. i’m a sucker for this kinda stuff” seungcheol laughs. breathy and short. jeonghan swallows.  
“ah i see, the sensitive type, god you must have girls falling at your knees” it’s a joke, jeonghan laughs and so does seungcheol.  
“hm” he hums in agreement “too bad it’s not the girls i want”  
jeonghan mentally cheers. score.  
when the movie is over all jeonghan’s friends shuffle out and he’s about to follow but seungcheol, as he had introduced himself as after more helpless flirting attempts, grasped onto his hand and stood as well.  
“leaving so soon?” seungcheol had grinned, bright and pretty, lighting up the still dimly lit theater.  
“depends, did you have something else planned?”  
\--  
jeonghan never really fancied the idea of being pressed up against some back-alley brick wall while a, very attractive, senior kissed and nipped at his neck. but honest to god, jeonghan really was not complaining.  
there was something comforting about the way that seungcheol would kiss him. always with passion and with intent. that night, seungcheol kissed him roughly, keeping his hands pinned against the scratchy brick walls. the next morning seungcheol kissed jeonghan softly, as he threaded his fingers through jeonghan’s pink bubblegum hair. that weekend seungcheol kissed jeonghan time after time, pressing kisses to every open space presented to him, muttering about how they had all the time in the world and how he was going to make good use of it.  
but a day came, jeonghan doesn’t know exactly what day, when seungcheols kisses were no longer passionate, or with intention. when seungcheol kissed him almost because he had to, not because he wanted to. when seungcheol didn’t even kiss him, not really. no tongue, no hands, no passion.  
when seungcheol kissed him like a timid 14-year-old that didn’t want to scare away his first girlfriend.  
jeonghan didn’t notice at first, they had naturally started to drift a little because of school, he himself wasn’t too good at keeping the ‘fire burning’. but he never thought it would go this far.  
\---  
“did you hear that seungcheol-hyung has a new boyfriend”  
seungkwan was always the bearer of bad news somehow. when jeonghan’s cat died, seungkwan informed him on his mothers’ behalf. when jeonghan got his first proper shit grade it was seungkwan who delivered the report card. and now, seungcheol, his still effortlessly perfect seungcheol, was really no longer his.  
“oh yeah?” jeonghan continued sipping on his milk box while scrolling through his phone, pretending as if this was no more important news than the shitty text post memes, he was looking at on tumblr.  
“yeah, another senior, hong joshua” seungkwan exclaimed brightly, as if he forgot that seungcheol and jeonghan ever happened. seungkwan proceeded to fish through his pockets for his phone before unlocking it and showing jeonghan a photo. of seungcheol and joshua.  
they’re laughing in the photo, sitting on opposite sides of a coffee table, somewhere in the nice areas of seoul. (the joshua boy was supposedly very rich according to seungkwan)  
seungcheol’s hair was pitch black, it hadn’t been black in a while. he dyed it a couple weeks after he and jeonghan first started dating. jeonghan didn’t know he had changed it back. joshua’s hair was a familiar shade of bubblegum pink. a, very cynical and dark, part of jeonghan likes to believe that joshua only dyed his hair that colour because that’s the same colour jeonghan used to have it. but he knows that’s not true. the more he looks at the photo the more he seems himself and seungcheol. back when he was a freshman and seungcheol was a year older. back when they were together.  
joshua’s eyes glitter, seungcheol probably said something sappy, something pretty that made joshua’s heart light and eyes sparkle with adoration for the elder boy. It’s evident even through the phone screen. joshua is pretty (jeonghan is prettier though) he has the same wide grin that jeonghan used to have, his eyes even crinkle in a similar way.  
jeonghan doesn’t look at the photo any longer. he just hums and seungkwan puts the phone away.  
\--  
“it’s not love, jeonghan, he loved you, joshua is just a lookalike, to ease seungcheol’s mind” junhui says, as he senses the tension in the room after seokmin had brought the whole joshua seungcheol thing up.  
“don’t be like that junnie, i’m not mad, or upset or anything like that. i’m happy for seungcheol, i’ll always be. i just need to move on. he clearly has.”  
\--  
sometimes, jeonghan would still think of him. he would lay in bed, staring at his pillow as his mind morphed it into seungcheol. he would lay there, hoping that maybe one-night, seungcheol will come back to him. that seungcheol will pull jeonghan into his arms and run his pretty fingers through jeonghan’s hair one more time.  
but that won’t happen, jeonghan knows that.  
\--  
jeonghan likes summers in seoul even though its boiling hot and the streets are busy. he goes out one night, with a couple of friends from his old high school choir group. they go to some vintage little diner that vernon suggested, as an excuse to gather all his friends so that they can be there for the proposal.  
kim mingyu was nothing but beautiful the first time jeonghan met him

**Author's Note:**

> i hate this but there she is i guess :/


End file.
